You’re getting married? Great! Mazal Tov!
Here are some guidelines to help you if you’re thinking of asking me to officiate your wedding:
- The first step is for the there of us to meet together, so that we can meet each other face-to-face, and establish a real connection. I make a decision about officiating only after talking with you as a couple, so that I can appreciate what kind of wedding ceremony you are planning, why you’re asking a rabbi to officiate, the kind of Jewish home you envision, and your thoughts about the religion of your future children, if you are blessed to have any.
- I only officiate at Jewish wedding ceremonies that include the following traditional elements: the traditional wedding blessings, ritual vows, chuppah, ketubah, and rings (at least for the bride, and preferably, for both bride and groom). I do not officiate at secular weddings, or co-officiate with non-Jewish clergy.
- Planning a wedding together takes at least three to four meetings with the couple, where we will learn about the wedding rituals, envision the ceremony together, and plan logistical elements. I will also hear about your relationship, make space for you to openly discuss your wishes for each other, and will offer spiritual direction as you take this next step on your journey toward married life.
- I require that all couples whose wedding I officiate take part in pre-marital counselling. I find this to be a really beautiful opportunity to think about your shared values as a couple, and to lay the groundwork for what will, God willing, be a lifelong partnership. This can be counselling facilitated by me, in addition to and as part of our wedding preparations, or can be done with a different rabbi, or a counsellor/therapist.
- If you are thinking of asking me to officiate your wedding, please speak with me before setting a wedding date! There are many dates when I am unavailable, due to the Jewish holiday calendar and my own personal scheduling. Please always keep the following dates in mind, when I am unable to officiate. You can find details of these holidays, including their dates through 2021 here.
- Any Shabbat. This means that I will not officiate at a Friday Evening/Saturday wedding until well after sunset on Saturday. Consult your local times for when Shabbat ends, and be sure to consider any travel time it would take for me to get to your desired location.
- The High Holy Days: Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and the Ten Days of Repentance in between
- The eight days of Sukkot, including Atzeret/Simchat Torah
- The eight days of Pesach (Passover)
- The two days of Shavuot
- The 49 days in between Pesach and Shavuot (with the exception of Lag b’Omer)
- Purim, and the day before Purim (Ta’anit Esther)
- The Three Weeks leading up to, and including Tisha b’Av
- Yom HaShoah
If, after looking over these guidelines, you think we may be a good match for your wedding, be in touch, and let’s talk about your special day!