This Week’s Amazing, Stupid, F’d up, and Just Plain Odd Things

Make sure you get down to the last one on the list. It will change the way you look at the world. Or maybe just the way you look at America.

1. The RIAA list of the Top 100 Selling Music Artists of All Time.
I was actually pleasantly surprised by most of the artists on this list. Turns out the factory-made, genetically engineered pop music that seems to be so pervasive since the Spice Girls were manufactured in a defunct cold-war weapons factory is not actually as successful as it appears to be. At least not when compared to the other bands on the list. I was, however, disappointed that Brittney Spears has sold as many albums as Dave Matthews has. And more than Pearl Jam and Tom Petty. She doesn’t work nearly as hard as they do. And the output isn’t exactly on par. Isn’t it a little ironic (Alanis Morisette was further down the list) that the capitalist society which has propelled the likes of Brittney to the top is the same one that is so adamant about the notion that you have to work hard to be deserving of money? Judgement: AMAZING

2. Reform and Chabad are Friends!… in China…
Read the article. It’s enlightening. Perhaps there is something that America and Canada can learn from China. Judgement: AMAZING

3. Anti-Islam film ‘Fitna’ draws Dutch Jewish condemnations.
The newly-released anti-Islam film by right-wing Dutch legislator Geert Wilders drew condemnations from the Netherlands’ Central Jewish Board, which Friday called the film’s focus on anti-Jewish preachings by Muslims “counterproductive” and “generalizing.” Just one question: When was the last time we heard a reciprocal condemnation of pervasive anti-Jewish propaganda? Judgement: a tie between AMAZING and FUCKED UP

4. Stuff White People Like
If you’re a wordpress-er like me, then you’ve likely already seen this blog. If not, you must head over to it immediately. It is a humourous and surprisingly (perhaps frighteningly) accurate portrayal of white society. Some of my favourites from the list: #88 Having Gay Friends, #75 Threatening to Move to Canada, #68 Michel Gondry, #67 Standing Still at Concerts (I dance like hell, though), #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!), #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes. Judgement: Overall it’s AMAZING. Some of them are STUPID or JUST PLAIN ODD

And the Kicker… the piece de resistance, the one that floored me tonight…

5. The Quantum Sleeper
“What is the Quantum Sleeper?” you ask… While you must go to the website and look at the pictures to truly appreciate the absurdity of this item, here’s a quick rundown of the features it contains:
– Protection from bio-chemical terrorist attack
– Protection from natural disasters (earthquakes…?)
– Protection from kidnappers / stalkers (“What’s that giant object in the bedroom…?”)
– Toiletry system
– CD Player & AM/FM Radio

JUDGEMENT: The Quantum Sleeper is the culmination and supreme iconic indicator of post-9-11 society. It is simultaneously amazing, stupid, f’ed up, and just plain odd. Mostly though, it’s a piece of shit.